So you’ve been trying to get pregnant for what seems like an eternity. You’ve synchronised watches to see when the most fertile time is and you quickly get down to business hoping and praying that this is the time conception happens.
But it doesn’t. Again.
What could you possibly be doing wrong? You’re both tested as being healthy and you’ve read every magazine, read every blog, article, prayed to Gods you didn’t know existed, spread exotic herbs around the room and made sacrifices to the fertility Gods, but still nothing.
There must be something wrong with you both, right? Every other couple seems to get pregnant at a change in direction of the wind, but not you.
Your friends get pregnant and they say “Oh, it was an accident, it wasn’t planned”. That really is the last thing you want to hear!
Let me tell you what your friends are doing. They are ENJOYING sex! They have sex because they want to feel the love of their partner and be so wrapped up in that moment of passion and intimacy and have those wonderful happy chemicals charging through their bodies that nothing else exists. THIS is the perfect time for conception. To be so comfortable and relaxed, being in the moment of bliss, passion and calmness and thinking of nothing else but the moment.
So, stress, that’s what keeping a lot of people from getting pregnant. The actual term is ‘Psychogenic Infertility’.
How does Psychogenic Infertility work?
To understand this question we need to know how stress affects the body. Your body when stressed is only concerned with survival, so fight or flight. The reproductive system is not essential for fight or flight so it’s shut down by the brain during these times by producing inhibiting hormones that stop the production of reproductive hormones such as oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Without these hormones in full flow your chances of getting pregnant are drastically and tragically reduced.
What is this stress you speak of?
Stress can come from any direction at any time. Unfinished business from the past, worrying about mortgage payments, if Uncle Alex will walk after his knee surgery and of course, the stress of getting pregnant! It’s difficult to accept that the stress of getting pregnant is actually preventing you from getting pregnant! Stress can be obvious and it can be low-level stress, it all contributes to activating those damn inhibiting hormones.
So what can be done?
ENJOY SEX! Seriously, that is one of the main pieces of advice I can give. Don’t plan it, don’t rush it, just let it happen. Take each other like you used to, pretend you’re teenagers again and forget the world and be with each other. If you find you need a little help (psychologically) then I’d be happy to discuss and help remove any unwanted stress from your thinking and check for emotional obstacles to you hearing that magical news that you’re going to be a mummy/daddy!
Why are you still reading? Isn’t there something you should be doing 🙂